Exploring Non-Religious Child Rearing

I have a seven month old son who is the light of my life. He is our first child, and now, just like many parents, it’s hard to even remember my life when he wasn’t a part of it. How things have changed; how life is exponentially better! It’s absolutely amazing what one’s child can add to life, and it’s also amazing the choices one needs to contemplate with this life transformation.

I must give credit to the blog that started my wheels turning for this entry. You can find it at Raising Children Without God

This post really got me thinking again about the issue of how I want to raise my son.

Those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I left Christianity a couple of years ago. The transition from Christianity to philosophical Deism was not an easy one, nor was it made lightly. All previous entries in this blog have been centered around my thoughts as they pertain to religion and humanist views, however, now with a child thrown into the picture, I must also evaluate how I want to raise him.

Firstly, he will not be raised in the Church. While I will not do anything to dissuade him from exploring this later, as he is old enough to make his own decisions, I will not force him to attend a service every Sunday simply for the moral benefit. I have had family members ask me “When are you going to baptize/dedicate _ in the Church?” My answer is that I won’t. I was raised going to church every Sunday morning. Every Sunday morning my mother had to fight to get us all up and out the door in time for Sunday School. Once we got to church, I spent my time drawing, people watching, or imagining strange things coming out of the person’s head in front of me. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I participated in Sunday School, learned the Christian story, and really didn’t care overall. This was just what Sundays were about.

Now that I’m a parent and non-Christian, it makes no sense for me to raise my son in the Church. So, what does this mean when it comes to raising him outside the Church? This is new territory for me, but here are my thoughts on it:

1. I will teach him and encourage him to learn about the religions of the world. They play such a crucial role in understanding humanity and people of different cultures. I believe it’s extremely important to learn about the different concepts of God or creator, and how people behave according to their own concept.

2. I will do everything I can to teach him the value of human life. This is not just in regards to the act of murder, but also respect for others, respect for property, responsibility, and accountability. I will show him how important it is to help people, and be a defender of those who can’t defend themselves. To respect human life is to value what it means to be human.

3. I will teach him to think through ideas, not just blindly accept mine or anybody else’s opinions. There is a difference here between what I expect of his actions and what he thinks. I am his father, so I will have expectations of behavior. However, when it comes to the big ideas of life, I want him to think for himself. I will gladly tell him my thoughts, but I don’t want him to necessarily adopt them as his own. This is possibly the most important gift I could ever give to my son, with the exception of my love and devotion to him.

4. Never minimize the values of others. Talk to others of different values, beliefs, and situations. But never belittle them for what they believe. What a person believes is a large part of who that person is.

5. Notice your emotions, but follow your reason. Emotions tell us if we’re on or off track from our values. They are the markers of how we’re doing on the inside. They are not, however, an accurate map of how to live life.

This is what I have so far. I know that as he grows and matures, there will be many more life lessons that will come up. To raise one’s child outside of religion is not going to be easy, I can already see that. But I think it’s extremely important for him to come to his own decisions. Not only will they be his, but they will be much more heartfelt.

Is Your Concept of God a Crutch?

Jesse (The Body) Ventura, when he was Governor of Minnesota several years ago, came under fire for making a statement about religion being a crutch for weak-minded people. At the time I was a Christian, and I along with many other people of faith was appalled at such a statement. While I still don’t agree with his statement, I can see some nugget of rationality in it now.

What is your concept of God? I have stated in previous posts that I started to really have a hard time with prayer. I realized that I was using my concept of God as a crutch. When things weren’t going the way I wanted, or thought they should, I would offer prayers of “supplication” and “thanksgiving.” I knew I needed to be thankful first, and then I could ask for God to fix me and my life. That was fine for a while…a long while. However, I started to pray less and less, and began questioning my beliefs more and more, until I finally came to the realization that I could no longer continue down the Christian path, nor any religious path for that matter.

Call it pride, self-pity, whatever you like, but I came to the point that I couldn’t, in good conscience, ask God for anything. I realized that one of the problems I had with religion was that it seemed so self-serving. We can all have times of genuine love and admiration for the creator, and even praise it for its grandness. But let’s face it, it seems the vast majority of prayers going on out there are for personal requests. “Dear God, please let me get this job…you know that I have prepared well for the interview and have done my part…please give this job to me…according to your will.” I would always add that tag ending, just to make it seem unselfish.

I began to think, “what about that other job candidate that prepared just as much as I and is just as qualified as I, and has prayed the same prayer? Whom does God choose? As a Christian, I could always fall back on the “it wasn’t according to God’s plan for my life” excuse. It was always a great comfort to think that God had something better planned for me. But then I remembered, wait, I have free-will. How do God’s plans align with my free-will? Sure, I need to submit myself to God’s leading, but then how do I know what that leading is if I am praying according to my perceived needs? If, in my conscience, I feel a “prompting” to become a missionary in Abu Dhabi, does that mean that I need to pack up and go?

Here’s the deal, God became a great excuse for all sorts of things. If I was happy, I praised God for the happy experience. If I was sad or worried, I asked God to fix it. If I was unsure of what to do, I asked God for direction. If I was angry, I could blame God. Where is there any personal accountability in this? You may write comments to me remarking that my concept of God was skewed, but let’s be honest, how many people have that same skewed concept but don’t admit it?

I touched on some of the issues in my earlier posts regarding “American Christianity” parts one and two. I do believe that our concept of God is really going astray. We have taken the “personal relationship” portion of Christianity and turned it into a “personal genie” relationship. Instead of honestly looking at why we are in the situation we are in, whether good or bad, we tend to give God the credit for it, and then “pray” to it according to our desired outcomes. Is this what God is all about?

The standard line in Christianity is that God created us to honor Him. That is our purpose in life. Well, because we have a “personal” relationship with God, we can push the “honor Him” portion of our purpose aside, and focus on how we can bring honor to Him by Him using us to accomplish great things. Do you see what I’m getting at. We can be very clever beings. If I want God to use me for His glory, then I want His glory to be revealed in the things I want to pursue. If I mess up getting there, God will fix it. If it’s going great, then it’s because I am in tune with His leading. (read- when I screw up, God will bail me out, when I do well, it’s because of ME being a good follower.)

I really don’t want to criticize all religion. That’s not my point. My point is that I think we should re-examine our belief of who God is and who we are. If you come out with the same beliefs you’ve always had, more power to you (although I would question the depth of your analysis).

These are thoughts and feelings I’ve had for a long time. However, it wasn’t until recently that I was really able to identify them. As most of you know, I am no longer a Christian. I consider myself a Deist philosophically. In all honesty, the only “prayers” that I can utter are recognitions of beauty in nature. That’s it. I can’t pray about myself or my situations, whether good or bad. I believe that my fortunes and misfortunes are directly related to my action or inaction in life. I can’t see it any other way.

The Power of Self

No doubt, this particular post will rub many people the wrong way. However, I have become increasingly interested in the power of the individual to better their own lives. Living in the United States, there seems to be an almost innate belief in the ability of each person to improve their lives, no matter their circumstances, as long as they are granted equality of opportunity.

However, at the same time, we also grant allowances for ourselves by making excuses for our lot in life. “I was born into poverty,” “I come from a broken home,” etc… So my question is: What impact do our external circumstances have on our internal feeling of worth? What impact do external circumstances have on our own feelings of self-worth? Should they have as large or small of an impact as they do?

Over the past year and a half, I have been dealing with serious career problems. I decided to do a complete career change…not just a job, but completely change industries. This, it turns out, was not nearly as easy as I had expected. As a matter of fact, I admit I was downright naive about the difficulties I would run into. Now, I am in a career that I like better, but making approximately half of what I made in my previous career.

I have been through all the emotions and feelings I believe possible throughout this process- Excitement, depression, hope, despair, worthlessness, self-confidence… I find amazing the fact that I am so quick to look back on the original decision to change careers and wish I could have a do-over. “It was such a stupid decision; I should never have done it; If I knew then what I know now…” All of these phrases have had far too much time to play around in my head. It occurred to me that if I’m feeling this way, there are no doubt many out there feeling this way. Also, there are no doubt many of you who have felt this way at some point and have now made it to the other side of the fence. I certainly hope for you that the grass did turn out to be greener.

I have officially turned a corner in my inner thought processes. It occurred to me how self-defeating it truly is to focus on the mistakes (if in fact they truly are mistakes). I am no longer convinced that my decision was wrong. It may have been bad timing, but I have learned so many things about myself through this process that I am amazed.

1. I have a deep and abiding commitment to my family
2. I am a pretty intelligent person overall
3. Even when times are tough, I can handle the problems calmly and rationally
4. While I can’t reasonably pray to God about this, I have found that I don’t need to
5. What great life experience I have gained through this
6. I can make the necessary lifestyle changes to reflect my current income level
7. I don’t need a particular career or income level to feel worthy
8. There is not one person on this earth more valuable than I
9. I am a deep person
10. I don’t communicate well

There are many other things I’ve learned about myself, but mostly I’ve learned that I, along with every other person, don’t have to have my inner worth determined by my external circumstances. I have an honest belief that I will turn the corner soon, and find what I’m looking for.

In truth, I think I am a much stronger individual now than I was before. I am even more set in my beliefs. I can’t pray to a god about my situation, I actually tried, until I literally couldn’t anymore. Immediately, my philosophy kicked in…This is not God’s problem, it’s mine. I made the decision, I can’t ask it to bail me out from the consequences. Take the hits as they come, and keep getting back up. Never quit.

There is real value in your life. There is real value in your beliefs, whatever they are. There is real value in your talents, skills, knowledge, and experiences. These things make you who you are. Never let external circumstances make you lose sight of your value. Ever.

Humanists- What’s Wrong with You?

Seriously Humanists, can we move past the ridiculous political ambitions that make absolutely no sense whatsoever? It seems nearly daily I can read an article put out by Humanists that makes me embarrassed to call myself one. Some of you who read this blog regularly think I’ve been hard on Christianity, and I suppose that’s true, however, I’m an equal opportunity complainer.

This discussion is taken from Humanism.org’s “Statement of New Humanism” (for some). For purposes of brevity, I will focus on only one section of this statement: their beliefs on democracy.

As for representative government, since the extension of universal suffrage people have believed that only a single act is involved when they elect their representative and their representative carries out the mandate received. But as time has passed, people have come to see clearly that there are in fact two acts: a first in which the many elect the few, and a second in which those few betray the many, representing interests foreign to the mandate they received.

True, to an extent. Representative Democracy is certainly not perfect. There never has been a perfect government, and let’s face it, there never will be. We must never forget that the people that are elected have ambitions of their own…We seem to expect a great extent of altruism from our elected officials, but are our expectations even remotely reasonable?

Humanists struggle to transform the practice of representative government, giving the highest priority to consulting the people directly through referenda, plebiscites, and direct election of candidates.

Are you freakin’ kidding me??? Someone else can do some research on the participation pathetic levels of the American people in Presidential elections, let alone the mid-term elections. You seriously want to consult the American people on issues such as waste disposal, how much to spend on Katrina cleanup, National infrastructure repairs, Covert military actions, and what day will be national “hug your cat” day? Everybody knows that any form of policy change toward direct democracy will be a huge disaster. It’s like Socialism- Sounds great in theory, works terribly. To be fair, they don’t seem to be arguing for direct democracy, however, they are talking about representative democracy reform. To what? Who will do the reforming? The representatives in power? I don’t think so.

And in order for there to be true equality of opportunity, during elections the news media must be placed at the service of the people, providing all candidates with exactly the same opportunities to communicate with the people.

I remember seeing something about “freedom of the press” somewhere.

To address the problem that elected officials regularly fail to carry out their campaign promises, there is also a need to enact laws of political responsibility that will subject such officials to censure, revocation of powers, recall from office, and loss of immunity.

Seriously? Who is going to enforce these laws? The elected officials?

As for directly consulting the people on the most urgent issues, every day the possibilities to do so increase through the use of technology. This does not mean simply giving greater importance to easily manipulated opinion polls and surveys. What it does mean is to facilitate real participation and direct voting by means of today’s advanced computational and communications technologies.

See above comments.

In sum, to give highest priority to the issues of capital and labor, real democracy, and decentralization of the apparatus of the State, is to set the political struggle on the path toward creating a new kind of society—a flexible society constantly changing in harmony with the changing needs of the people, who are now suffocated more each day by their dependence on an inhuman system.

So…how about giving a plan, rather than preaching the virtues. How are you going to create this “Utopian” society that is incredibly ridiculous.

Sorry for the rant, but when Humanists (or anyone for that matter) are more interested in picking apart the system, without having any ways to correct it, I get irritated. The same with my earlier post on Presidential Candidates. They say what’s wrong now, and what the ideal would be, but there’s no meat to it.

How do You Find God?

While this post may come across as irreverent, I really don’t mean for it to be. I have been thinking recently about my leaving Christianity and pursuing Deism as a philosophy. It occurred to me that I am a free-thinker, meaning, that I want to think about things myself and come to my own conclusions. Often, my conclusions will align with the thoughts or systems of others, and many times they don’t. I don’t think it’s any “rebellion” on my part, this is just the way I am.

In Christianity, freedom is an important concept. According to scriptures, Christ set us free, and we are free indeed. We are free from guilt, from sin (though not the consequences of sin), and free to act as Christ would have us act. Now I’ve realized something that was really bothering me about Christianity, but was unable to articulate until lately:

Perhaps Christ did set us free, but Christianity has bound us in a variety of ways.

1. We are free; except that we must accept Christ as Lord in order for us not to burn in hell;
2. We are free; except we cannot be homosexual;
3. We are free; except that we must (or should…depending on your denomination) be
baptized;
4. We are free; except we really should unite politically and socially with other Christians;
5. We are free; except that we ought to be evangelizing;
6. We are free; except we must do what a collection of books as old as 6000 years tells us;
7. We are free; except that we must be pre-millenial (or post-millenial);
8. We are free; except that we must worship the god of the bible and no other;
9. We are free; except for that darn original sin issue;
10. We are free; except that we can do no good unless it’s Christ doing the good through us.

We can go on and on here, and many of these arguments can be made for other religions too. So, back to the title of this post.

Do we find God through systems? Really, that’s what Christianity, Islam, Hinduism et al are. They are man-made systems put in place in order to advance our attempt at knowing God. Even Deism, when approached as a religion, becomes a system. Do I get to know god by performing the right actions, believing the right things, and spending the appropriate amount of time on my knees in prayer as laid out by other people or systems? I suppose its possible. However, I don’t believe it’s the correct way.

What is the correct way? I don’t know. However, I do know that I feel closest to the creator when I’m noticing and appreciating the creation. I don’t “pray” per se, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I see prayer as an ultimately self-serving action. Instead, I might make a brief mention to this unknown creator that the weather is beautiful, or that tree is really pretty, or that I love walking in the woods…and I might even say “thanks.”

More and more I am viewing religion as binding. I see it suppressing curiosity, creativity, and expression. I think that religion can close minds and hearts, and cause people to pay far too much attention to the lives of others. I don’t like to be driving down the road and told by a bumper sticker that I need to accept Christ so I don’t go to hell. If someone wants to have a Jesus sticker that’s fine, but please don’t tell me what I need.

All of us, whether Christian, Deist, Muslim, Jew, Sikh, Buddhist, or Hindu are all on this earth looking for the same thing. We are all looking for meaning in our lives. Perhaps you’ve found your meaning in life…fantastic. Perhaps your meaning is Christ…great. That’s not my meaning though. This has nothing to do with truth. I’m not asking for the absolute truth. I think people spend far too much time and energy debating the truth issue. Truth does not necessarily equal meaning or purpose in life.

To be honest, while I do believe there is absolute truth, I don’t believe we can ever find it. Why? Very simply, we are too wrapped up in our own needs and desires to recognize absolute truth. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it just means that my idea of absolute truth and yours may be very different–so which one of us is right? Is it the one with the best logical arguments? How many times have you known you had the superior argument in debate, but still failed to change the mind of the other person? It happens all the time. So where does this leave us when we are trying to find God?

I think we have to follow our own reason and passions. I don’t believe any system will provide it for us. This is why I get so irritated with the religions of the world, as once you subscribe to one, then you need to fit the mold. If you don’t fit the mold, then you need to go to the other denomination. Instead of messing with all of this, I would rather try to find my own way by following my God-given conscious and reason. Right now, I’m pulled in the direction of Deism as a philosophy, but who knows where I’ll be next year.

Unexamined Beliefs?

Socrates is quoted by his pupil Plato as saying “The unexamined life isn’t worth living.” I truly love this statement, and also do believe there is much merit to it. However, I think this can be expanded to “the unexamined belief is not worth believing.”

How many times have you heard people, of any religious belief, say “I was raised in a [insert religion here] household…or, “I was baptized at the age of 4 and have been following God ever since…” Here’s the deal, I’m not trying to bash these life experiences. What I am doing is questioning whether you’ve sincerely examined your belief system.

I think one of the most important things I can hopefully teach my son as he grows up is to be a free thinker. By this I don’t mean to go against the grain just to do it, I mean to take nothing for granted. Just because his dad subscribes to the Deist philosophy doesn’t mean that he needs to. Sure we all want our kids to grow into mature, responsible adults, but I do think that we need to encourage them to think for themselves.

I have the type of personality that automatically questions what I’m told. This doesn’t mean that I have no capacity to believe, or that I’m person who can’t accept authority, it simply means that I am curious. I don’t question authority just to do it, I question in general to have greater understanding. This entire blog is actually for me. I write for myself. You will no doubt find many grammatical mistakes and posts that aren’t cohesive, but that’s okay. This blog is one way that I question. It’s a great medium too, as I can get comments and thoughts from others.

I have had a couple people try to “witness” to me over the past year. I’ve caught them off guard when they asked me “why don’t you believe in salvation through Jesus Christ?” I answered them “why do you believe?” I have had the response of “the Bible says so, etc…” however, not once have I had one of those people say “because I have truly examined what’s out there, and found that this is what I truly believe.” That, to me, is a great answer.

I’m not saying one needs to write a Master’s Thesis on every subject about which one wants to know, however, I do believe in the importance of being inquisitive. “Why do I believe what I believe?” “Do I actually believe it, or am I playing a role?” “How do my beliefs align with my perception of what others expect from me?”

I do not hold myself up to be a brilliant person, but I am happy that I am a thoughtful person. So why do you believe what you believe? Do yourself a favor, if you haven’t already, really dig down deep and try to answer that question and some of the others asked above. I bet you’ll be glad you did.

One side note: Please notice that not once did I correlate “belief” with “proof.” I am coming more and more aware of the fact that one can offer “proof” of nearly anything they want. How? Proof is dangerous, what may be “proof” of God’s existence to me, may not be to you. What may be “proof” of the infallibility of scripture to you, is not to me. Proof is tricky, and people become very dogmatic when they can “prove” their beliefs are true to their own satisfaction. The point of this post is to examine beliefs, not look for proofs.

From Faith to Reason

Going through any major life change can be difficult, scary, and confusing. I think that making a change in one’s religious views helps to magnify these feelings of insecurity. Anybody who has been reading this blog for a little while knows that I am a former Christian. Over the past couple of years I have removed myself from church and ultimately from Christianity itself. The reasons? Check out some of my other posts and you’ll begin to understand. I do want to point out one problem I have. This is a problem that seems to be well represented in the de-conversion world. The problem is “what if I’m wrong?”

Before I go any further, I want to let any Christians who may be reading this to know that this is not the appropriate time to comment on this post saying that “the reason you’re concerned about being wrong is because the Holy Spirit is convicting your spirit…” I’ve already thought about this. Please note, I’m not looking to “feel better”, I’m simply relaying thoughts I’ve had in the attempt to process them and maybe help others.

As a Christian for the majority of my life, and a truly serious Christian for the past 10 years or so, I cannot help ponder this possible situation of my being wrong to turn away from Christianity. I find that there is a disconnect in my head concerning this subject. Intellectually, I know that I cannot accept the Christian story anymore, and that to go to church or even pretend to be a christian would nobody any good. However, it is hard to let go of certain beliefs that one has had for a number of years. Such as:

1. Am I prepared for the fact that I may be consigning myself to hell just because I can’t intellectually follow Christianity anymore?

2. Am I prepared to meet God the Father face-to-face and explain why I stopped believing in his son?

3. There are and have been many people, much smarter than I, who have embraced Christianity. Could I be wrong about this whole thing?

There are many other questions that come into play when making this sort of life decision, but I wanted to list a few and also let you know what I’ve come up with.

First, because I still believe in a creator, I recognize our ability to reason as God-given. The simple fact that I can process these questions and try to come up with answers (creatively, on my own) is amazing. Second, as our reason is God-given, then the creator would never expect us to go against it for things that can’t be proven true or false. In other words, when it comes to the Creator, the only true revelation, other than personal, is general revelation. That revelation that comes through the handiwork of the creator–Nature. I believe nature is a map of the creator’s footsteps. I do not, however, believe in any holy or inspired book or collection of books from any religion. In truth, accepting a book as the authoritative word of god is accepting the author(s) as god.

There is an argument in favor of the infallibility of the bible that just because it was written by humans does not mean that the bible contains errors. While humans are fallible, they are capable of being infallible at times, and can do things perfectly from time-to-time. While I agree with this line of reasoning, it occurs to me that we have no way of knowing whether the writers who wrote the books of the bible were infallible in their memory, recall, and theology. They may have written exactly what they wanted, transmitted it exactly how they wanted, but that doesn’t mean that they were correct in their theology. To place my belief in Christianity is indeed to rest my eternity on the laurels of people who lived 2000-6000 years ago.

I can believe in God through the general revelation of nature and the universe, but I cannot place my creator into the box of any one religious system. In reason, I see religions as man’s attempt to grasp the eternal and shape it into some sort of map or guide to get through life. Instead, I believe that the eternal gave us reason to exercise at every opportunity, to expand our knowledge of the world, and make our own way through living as good and effective a life as possible.

As for the questions above:

1. Am I prepared to go to hell? No. However, I realize that if indeed there is a hell (of which I don’t believe), then I suppose I would be going. This cannot change though. If the Christian story is true, then I cannot believe in and worship a God that determines our eternal fate because of one decision we didn’t make on the brief blip of time we were here on this earth. If the fact that I’m using my god-given reason leads me to hell, well, I really can’t change that as I can not worship that creator.

2. Am I prepared to meet god face-to-face in explanation? No. I cannot even fathom this actually happening. I cannot believe that the creator of the universe will be so hurt, and feel so dejected that I did not say “I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour” that I will be promptly judged and escorted down to the fiery lake where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. Instead, I think that using reason and recognizing the handiwork of the creator is all the recognition it is looking for.

3. Could I be wrong about this whole thing? Absolutely. There have been and will be many Christians, smarter than I, that are continue to hold to Christianity throughout life. I however, cannot. Do you understand that it’s not just a matter of “not wanting to believe”? When I say I cannot, I mean I cannot. If I were to get down on my knees right now and plead to god for forgiveness for my apostasy, it would not be genuine. I would simply be looking for a way to avoid hell (once again, which I think is bad theology). I can’t just turn from my wickedness and believe. Really, who among agnostics, deists, atheists,… wouldn’t like to believe in the afterlife… heaven for the good, and hell as retribution for those who wrong us during life. Everyone would like to believe in eternal life in heaven, however, it’s not that simple. If you are a believer in Christianity, and always have been, you probably won’t understand. Unfortunately, we can’t just flip a switch and decide to become whole-hearted believers. I believe, according to Christianity, that that is the Holy Spirit’s role anyway.

So, as you can see, I do not have the answers. However, I am becoming more and more comfortable in my apostasy. It takes getting used to. Undoubtedly, I will always have some of the left over theology of my past following me around and appearing every now and then, but to tell you the truth, I am becoming more and more thankful everyday for the freedom to use my reason to aim higher.

The Evil of Secular Humanism?

Secular Humanism as described by Encarta Dictionary:

nonreligious world view: a philosophy or world view that stresses human values without reference to religion or spirituality.

Seriously, what’s all the fuss about? It’s interesting to note that there is a fairly broad war going on between religions and humanism. Each side often accuses the other as evil, misguided, or at least the cause of the decline in our society (if there really is a decline).

I admit that I will often turn on a christian radio station, or sometimes even look to see what they’re talking about on TBN network just to hear what people are being “taught.” I have now seen one particular preacher on TBN going all out on the evils of secular humanists. They’re taking over the schools, they’re kicking God out of America. One day, after turning to a christian radio station, I heard a self-appointed “apostle” talking about the evils of secular humanists and how they’re all going to hell. The Humanists are “godless evil-doers” (I believe that was the exact phrasing). I realize that these two persons are just an example, and don’t necessarily represent the entire religious community, but they do represent a significant portion.

On the humanists side, there are many who will associate religion with war and general violence. “All wars are over religion,” “Christians bomb abortion clinics,” and “Christians are homophobic and protest funerals” are all arguments that one can hear made by humanists. Again, while parts of these statements do ring true, they don’t represent the majority. I have known many heartfelt Christians that believe homosexuality is a sin, but would never dream of protesting a funeral, or even making their beliefs known in polite conversation.

The point of these two previous paragraphs is to demonstrate that what is usually reported on television or radio is often the case of a few nut-cases. Then, each side blows the issues out of proportion and applies the labels to general groups. This is unfortunate.

I am a humanist. I suppose in some ways I could be considered a “secular” humanist because I don’t believe that religion has to play a part in public policy and public schools. While I do believe in a creator, I generally keep my beliefs to myself, save for this blog. I believe in every person’s right to believe what they will, however, those beliefs should not play a part in public services such as schools. I have no problem with students taking bibles to school and praying. However, the issue changes when the school takes the lead in bible reading and prayer. That becomes state-instituted religion. Indeed, it seems to me that “religious right” proclaim loudly, in response to criticisms or questions by humanists, that God gave humanity “free-will.” God did not want a bunch or robots dedicating their lives to him because then it’s not freely choosing. I understand and appreciate that. Let’s apply it to schools then…If the school is leading prayer and bible reading, doesn’t that necessarily indoctrinate students into Christian teaching, taking away their free will?

Christians will argue that Evolution is taught as fact in most schools instead of a theory. I understand this too. Theories should be taught as theories. This would include creationism as well. Whatever a 6000 year old book says, creationism is still a theory. We cannot teach evolution or creation as wholly true without risking intellectual dishonesty. However, they are both important to understand the different ideas of how we came to be.

Secular humanists are not out to destroy America. They are not all socialists (yes, there are some). The majority are not even out to destroy the idea of God in society. They may not believe in God, or they may, but they recognize that it’s personal and really has no place in public services and politics. The vitriolic attacks on both sides of the issue are really pointless and debilitating. Christians, you’re not losing America by not having prayer in schools. Teach the kids about God at home and in church. Humanists, stop being so defensive when someone wants to pray to God or keep “one nation under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance. If you don’t believe it, fine, but it really comes down to semantics and each side feeling threatened by the other.

It is stupid.

What is the Meaning of Life?

What a loaded question. This is a question to which, I will make the assumption, most people give thought at some point or points throughout life. There is one particular presupposition in this question that needs to be addressed, and that is the presupposition that there is a meaning. When contemplating this question, we are making the assumption that there is a meaning. I, after thinking about this numerous times in my short life, have come to the conclusion that there isn’t A meaning, but that there are many.

When going through life, we all hit different seasons. Mountains, valleys, and plateaus are parts of all lives. Is there one consistent meaning throughout this? I suppose, if you look at it through religious glasses, then yes, there could be one meaning. However, with the focus of many religions on the eternal, I think they miss the larger picture here and now.

I think the meaning of your life is directly influenced by those things that are your focus at a given time. When I was a teenager, the meaning of my life seemed to be centered around friends. I had the usual drama in my teenaged years that would make the soap operas jealous. Everyone does.

In my late teens, I entered the military. The focus of my life changed then to growing up and trying to find my way as an adult. All of a sudden, I had bills to pay, places to be (on time), and many more responsibilities than I was prepared for. The focus of my life at this time, that which gave it meaning, was being a good Marine. I wanted to do the best job I could do, and I wanted to be successful. Also, I wanted to successfully wade the waters of early adulthood and learn responsibility.

Early twenties, I got married. Talk about change in meaning. All of a sudden, I wasn’t solely concerned with my life. Instead, I wanted to make my wife happy. I wanted her to be able to do everything that she wanted. I wanted her to be safe and I wanted us to grow even closer.

Now that I’m in my early thirties, I have a son. Again, that which is meaningful in my life has changed. Not only do I still want the closeness with my wife, but I also want to make sure I give the little guy every opportunity in the world that I can provide. Now, what makes my life meaningful, is being the husband and father that I know I can be. Constantly striving for better.

I tried for many years to have God as the meaning of my life. The idea of a personal God, one with whom we can have a relationship is very appealing. However, it never really happened for me. Reading some of my other posts, you will know that I really put a lot of effot into my beliefs, but they never really took hold. Now, I am able to find meaning in gaining as much knowledge as I can, being a freethinker. This is important to me.

So what is the meaning of life? I think the question in and of itself poses problems. I think that meaning is very individual and based on life experiences and seasons. Who knows, perhaps someday I’ll end up in some sort of religious institution, but I don’t see how that could happen right now. The important thing is that I remain open to new experiences.

Life After Religion

Is there life after religion? This is an interesting thought for many to ponder as religion, whatever one it may be, plays such a fundamental role in our lives. Consider, not only do religious beliefs affect our actions, they also affect our perception of the world. Being a Christian, I had so many preconceived notions of right and wrong, the way I should act, and how I should speak. I knew that homosexuality was a sin, I knew I shouldn’t get drunk, I knew what God expected of me, and I knew when I made a mistake. I knew that America was a Christian nation and therefore I knew we needed more christians in politics to positively affect the laws of this country toward a higher morality. I also knew that anyone not following Christ was living a lie and would be judged upon their death.

My, how things have changed.

I had doubts about what I believed creeping into my consciousness. Because I firmly believed that God gave me the abilities as a reasoning creature, I knew that questioning was okay. I also knew that I would come out a stronger christian than I was before. Well, it hasn’t turned out that way. Without getting into all my reasoning for leaving christianity, I will say that my life has changed. What is interesting is that while many of my views have changed, there are still many that have not.

I still believe that religion plays a major role in the world today, just turning on the news will tell you that. However, it doesn’t play a major role in my personal life. As a matter of fact, I really don’t give religion much thought at all, other than to view life through the lens it provides. If I want to understand what is happening in the world, then religious views must be examined. While I am no longer religious, it certainly does affect my life externally.

My views on homosexuality have changed. I no longer believe that it is wrong. Interestingly though, I still DO believe that abortion is wrong. I have my reasonings for this, but this is not the purpose for this post.

While I am no longer a Christian, I still consider myself politically conservative. This, I find to be surprising, because for so long I had tied conservatism to Christianity.

My views on morality have changed in the sense that I no longer believe that morality comes from the commands of God through the bible. However, I still believe in right and wrong. This is an area where the religious and atheists may team up together to argue with me, although from different viewpoints. Is this morality a priori? To be honest, I’m not sure what I think about this. I still have some thinking to do. However, I do know that we seem to have an innate sense of right and wrong. As a deist, I could easily overcome this issue by claiming the creator applied this morality as part of the laws of nature, however, by reason, I can’t accept that yet. That would be a religious proclamation, one in which I truly don’t believe.

I no longer believe America is a Christian nation. I do believe that Christianity is the religious belief system to which the majority would ascribe themselves, however, we all know there is a difference between claiming a religious belief and living the belief. I now believe that America is not a religious nation. While the majority of citizens claim a belief in God, I think that for many of this majority, this belief has no impact on their daily lives.

I no longer believe that we need more Christians in politics to positively affect the legislation of morality on others. Now, I believe that Christians have just as much a right in politics as anyone else, however, when they begin legislating from those beliefs, we are in danger of theocracy. I do believe in the separation of church and state.

I now have a young son whom I will not bring up in the church. Instead, I will bring him up to pursue knowledge, to read as much as he can, to explore religious views, and if he so decides, he can accept religious views. It is not my job to indoctrinate him into any religious system. Instead, it is my job to help him explore what there is in the world with all the love and guidance I can. He will learn right and wrong, as we all do, through life experience. Through this life experience, he will learn responsibility for his own actions, and how those actions affect others. He will be raised to have integrity, strong reasoning, and a desire for knowledge.

Is there life after religion? Absolutely.

Does leaving the faith of your fathers change you? Absolutely. Interstingly though, I have discovered that while my religious beliefs have changed, I am still me. I still have many of the same goals and ideals I had before. My belief in integrity, goodwill, and character are still there. What has changed, is my now firm belief that humanity is basically good, not evil.