Exploring Non-Religious Child Rearing

I have a seven month old son who is the light of my life. He is our first child, and now, just like many parents, it’s hard to even remember my life when he wasn’t a part of it. How things have changed; how life is exponentially better! It’s absolutely amazing what one’s child can add to life, and it’s also amazing the choices one needs to contemplate with this life transformation.

I must give credit to the blog that started my wheels turning for this entry. You can find it at Raising Children Without God

This post really got me thinking again about the issue of how I want to raise my son.

Those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I left Christianity a couple of years ago. The transition from Christianity to philosophical Deism was not an easy one, nor was it made lightly. All previous entries in this blog have been centered around my thoughts as they pertain to religion and humanist views, however, now with a child thrown into the picture, I must also evaluate how I want to raise him.

Firstly, he will not be raised in the Church. While I will not do anything to dissuade him from exploring this later, as he is old enough to make his own decisions, I will not force him to attend a service every Sunday simply for the moral benefit. I have had family members ask me “When are you going to baptize/dedicate _ in the Church?” My answer is that I won’t. I was raised going to church every Sunday morning. Every Sunday morning my mother had to fight to get us all up and out the door in time for Sunday School. Once we got to church, I spent my time drawing, people watching, or imagining strange things coming out of the person’s head in front of me. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I participated in Sunday School, learned the Christian story, and really didn’t care overall. This was just what Sundays were about.

Now that I’m a parent and non-Christian, it makes no sense for me to raise my son in the Church. So, what does this mean when it comes to raising him outside the Church? This is new territory for me, but here are my thoughts on it:

1. I will teach him and encourage him to learn about the religions of the world. They play such a crucial role in understanding humanity and people of different cultures. I believe it’s extremely important to learn about the different concepts of God or creator, and how people behave according to their own concept.

2. I will do everything I can to teach him the value of human life. This is not just in regards to the act of murder, but also respect for others, respect for property, responsibility, and accountability. I will show him how important it is to help people, and be a defender of those who can’t defend themselves. To respect human life is to value what it means to be human.

3. I will teach him to think through ideas, not just blindly accept mine or anybody else’s opinions. There is a difference here between what I expect of his actions and what he thinks. I am his father, so I will have expectations of behavior. However, when it comes to the big ideas of life, I want him to think for himself. I will gladly tell him my thoughts, but I don’t want him to necessarily adopt them as his own. This is possibly the most important gift I could ever give to my son, with the exception of my love and devotion to him.

4. Never minimize the values of others. Talk to others of different values, beliefs, and situations. But never belittle them for what they believe. What a person believes is a large part of who that person is.

5. Notice your emotions, but follow your reason. Emotions tell us if we’re on or off track from our values. They are the markers of how we’re doing on the inside. They are not, however, an accurate map of how to live life.

This is what I have so far. I know that as he grows and matures, there will be many more life lessons that will come up. To raise one’s child outside of religion is not going to be easy, I can already see that. But I think it’s extremely important for him to come to his own decisions. Not only will they be his, but they will be much more heartfelt.